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Title: Wander Around Enough And What Will You Find?
Author: rolleson
Fandom: Dr Who
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing: Doctor/Donna friendship
Spoilers: Season Four new who
Warnings: mentions of porn
Summery: Donna gets finds The Doctors porn. Angst.
Notes: million_moments said to me 'Donna finds The Doctor's porn' and I wrote it and it was angsty. Thanks to celandinehobbit for the beta. 1311 words.



She was lost; Bloody lost.

The doctor had warned her that rooms moved and that the TARDIS liked to play tricks on people, including him, but she hadn't really expected anything. She'd felt at home, and wanted, as they'd sat in a living room straight out of the 1970's (her nan had had the same beech paneling and gas fire), talking about the TARDIS, the games it played and the way it worked. The heart of the TARDIS was as interesting as any alien and she wanted to explore the blue box as much as she wanted to take another step on an alien planet.

They had been separated by accident, or by TARDIS, she wasn't sure which. One minute she was telling him about the time she was nine and her dad took her to the park and he fell off the climbing frame and the next thing she knew, it was silent and he wasn't asking how this story was relevant to the TARDIS creating rooms out of existence.

She couldn't remember how it was relevant now, if it ever was, having spent the last twenty minutes wandering around small oak paneled corridors looking for him.

She didn't feel like she was in a space ship, though the TARDIS wasn't like anything on TV. She'd have to ask why it was an old police box when she found The Doctor again. Her granddad had gotten stuck in one once, when he was a kid, one he swore was bigger inside that it could've possibly been. Still swore to it this day.

It was just one more thing to ask The Doctor about later.

She felt like she was in an old mansion; all oak panels and thick heavy doors. It was like the national trust houses nana Noble liked so much; something straight out of Catherine Cookson. She couldn't be further away from the old bat right now. She tried a door at random. She had a feeling the Doctor wasn't going to let her stay lost forever and neither was the TARDIS. She assumed it was more of these amazing psychic abilities the TARDIS had and while it just made her think of those -0900- adverts for psychic consultations in the back of The Daily Mirror, she knew it was real. She'd had the proof.

The room she had pushed herself into wasn't like the bedroom she had expected. She'd expected a huge four poster bed cushions, thick velvet curtains in burgundy, oak ottomans and a wardrobe straight out of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

She wondered if that bloke had ever accidentally wanted into an old police box.

The room was white, off white, the colour they used in all those decorating shows that she couldn't remember the name of. There was a single bed in the far corner, a pine wardrobe, matching drawers and a bedside cabinet that was purple. She wandered inside, poking her finger at the few nick-knacks on the drawers, wiping dust onto her trousers.

She was pretty sure this was The Doctors room. It suited him; had that atmosphere that made her feel pity for him; single bed, horrible furniture and porn in the bedside cabinet.

She sat on the bed and flicked through the magazines. Some were human and recent (to her), nothing she'd not seen before hidden under the bed of old boyfriends. A couple were from the future featuring androids which made her laugh; the loud sound echoing in the room. The Doctor may be a nine hundred year old Time Lord, but he was like most blokes which was a bit reassuring. She found the God complex really annoying.

Some of the magazines were alien; in languages that she knew she wouldn't be able to read if it weren't for the TARDIS, but it wasn't about the words was it? It was about the pictures. Various rainbow skinned aliens in various sizes and shapes. Some similar to humans (but not quite), but some were completely different. Various genders too and she had never really considered the reproductive processes of aliens before. She was pretty sure she didn't want to consider it either because some of it looked bizarre and painful. Though, she could say that for some of the human magazines too.

It was an education, though she was sure a porn magazine from Belas wasn't really a reliable source on the subject. Yellow skinned women (she thought they were women) on beds of leaves weren't really a turn on for her and just made her think of patients on the Liver surgery ward at Hammersmith Hospital.

She went back to the porn from the future; magazines full of androids with perfect body parts. Some with flesh tone skins, some metallic blues. It was interesting actually and like that programme she'd seen on channel five once about sex toys and the most expensive sex doll in the world. Earth culture was always going this way she assumed.

"Here you are."

She looked up to see The Doctor standing in the open doorway, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Robot porn?" she asked, holding up the magazines and she discovered something new about him.

Time Lords blushed.

"Those are private," he said, snapping them away from her and collecting up the ones on the bed. "You went through my things?" He shoved the magazines back into the cabinet.

"Sorry! Didn't realise I could poke around in every room except the one that's yours!" she cried, "I didn't see the ‘No Entry’ sign."

"I shouldn't need one."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"I'm not embarrassed."

"You are!" She jumped up, grinning.

"It's just a collection, a comparison of…of cultures."

"Not heard that one before." He didn't reply. "What, speechless now? I found out your dirty little secret and you got nothing to say for once?"

"Donna," he warned. She'd heard that tone a few times before; low and dangerous and completely non-threatening in Donna's opinion.

"You really don't care what I think, do you?"

"A little bit, yeah."

She laughed.

"Why?"

"I'm a Time Lord."

"You're a bloke," she countered, "you have needs."

"I…I don't. Okay I do, have...needs. I get...horny. It's rare, but it happens."

She chuckled.

"You're laughing!"

"Sorry. Really…" She took a breath and smiled, "Just because you're a Time Lord, an embarrassed Time Lord with porn."

"And?!"

"It's just…well, it's a bit surreal isn't it."

"And the fact that I'm a Time Lord wasn't surreal enough."

She laughed again.

"Just because you're a Time Lord, or nine hundred, or think you're omnipotent..."

"I don't think I'm omnipotent," he cut in.

"Doesn't mean you can't, you know, enjoy yourself," she finished, ignoring him.

"Enjoy myself?"

"Yeah."

"Do you ever enjoy yourself?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm not talking about that with you!" she cried, hands flying to her hips. He laughed and took her hand to pull her out of his room. She still felt pity, but for different reasons that she couldn't put her finger on. His bedroom made her feel lonely, like he did and his sex life left her a little confused. She decided it probably wasn't a good idea to ask about other aliens having sex. It annoyed her, all this. He annoyed her. He was lonely, dozens of companions and she doubted it had even made a dent on the man. He'd probably took a few steps back after Rose and Martha.

Sad really and no one could say Donna Noble didn't do pity, sympathy, or empathy.

"Hey, have you ever met C.S Lewis?" she asked.

"The bloke who wrote ‘Narnia’? Yeah…"

"Ever have a ten year old boy wander into the TARDIS around 1948?"