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Title: Think.
Author: rolleson
Fandom: House
Rating: NC-17
Character/Pairing: House/Cuddy, Wilson/Amber
Spoilers: Season four up to House's Head
Warnings: Talk of sex.
Summery: I think I'm dating House/Cuddy (delete as applicable)
Notes: This idea amused me too much. So I wrote it. 1165 words.


i.Hot And Bothered
ii.Hesitations
iii.Weird
iv.Practical Application
v.Comfort Zone
viProgress?



"I think I'm dating Cuddy," House said, sitting down on Wilson's sofa, "again," he added, looking across the office at the man.

"You think?" Wilson asked from his desk. The scene was so familiar, between the two of them, the words so strange though.

"It kinda sneaked up on me."

"Have you slept with her?"

"No, just some oral, again." He smirked at the memory.

"But?"

"The night before she brought Chinese food, last night it was pizza."

"Do either of you ever cook?"

"She's cooking tonight," he mumbled and Wilson grinned.

"Do you want to be dating her?"

"I want to fuck her."

"That's not what I asked."

House hesitated with his answer, pushing and dragging his cane back and forward across the floor in a way Wilson knew was wearing the carpet out. In a way Wilson knew, House knew he was wearing his carpet out.

"I think so."

"You think so?"

"She's evil."

"Last night," Wilson tried, "what happened?"

"We had pizza, watched a movie, then Cuddy went home."

"Did you try and seduce her?" he asked.

House mouthed the word 'seduced' at him.

"You mean, did I try and get into her thong?" House said, "no, we kissed goodnight, that's it." His voice was low because he was embarrassed, because he was dating Cuddy, wanted to date Cuddy, he just didn't think he could fucking admit it.

"You're dating," Wilson said, leaning back in his chair. "Don't screw it up."

"What? You're gonna defend Cuddy's honour?"

"I don't think Cuddy needs anyone to defend her honour House."

"Flick knives in her heels," House said, knowingly tapping his nose.

"I'm just saying," Wilson continued, ignoring the other man, "don't screw up."

"I'll probably need help then," he admitted, voice quiet again.

This was why he hated dating. The uncertainty and admissions. He didn't mind relationships, but it was always like trekking through a fucking minefield to get to that stage. He usually wasn't willing to try, but with Cuddy, he'd found himself already in the middle of the minefield, surrounded by trouble.

Might as well trudge on forward, he thought, if there was a chance she wouldn't blow him up.

zzzzz

"I think I'm dating House," Cuddy said, as she and Wilson cleared up their things from the board meeting, the two of them the last to leave the room.

"Deja Vu," Wilson muttered with a grin. "You think?" he asked in a louder voice.

"It's House. It's hard to tell," she said, "Damn near impossible in fact."

"i know," he said with a smile.

"I know I shouldn't expect him to tell me anything, and I don't want that," she said, "but I just wish he'd give me some indication to what he wanted." She stuffed her files into her case with a little more force than she needed, frustrated with herself because she was supposed to be willing to go along with whatever with House, but it was already grating on her.

She was pathetic.

"You just need to know how to read House," Wilson said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Though to be honest, I doubt even he knows what's going on between the two of you."

"Has he said anything to you?"

"Not much," he replied, half truthfully. "He said you hadn't slept together."

"No."

"And last night?"

"He didn't even try anything."

"Really?" he already knew but wanted to push her into some understanding of his friend.

"No, just a kiss. A really good one." She smiled, then blushed.

"But he didn't try and seduce you?"

"If you mean, get into my thong, then no," she said, grinning as Wilson blushed.

"If he just wanted sex, it would've happened last night," he told her, "House is a hard man to say no to." She cocked an eyebrow at that.

"Really?"

"So, ah, so I've been told," Wilson ought, his face going even redder.

"We're going to have a talk about that, another time," she said, I have to get home."

"You're cooking," he stated.

"Yes, lasagna," she smiled. "I have wine, I thought candles might be a bit much."

"Maybe," he smiled back.

"I don't want to scare him."

"He's already terrified."

"I thought he hadn't said anything."

"He doesn't need to."

"I wish I knew him as well as you do."

"Spend enough time with him and you will," he said.

"That's the plan I suppose." She smiled at him. "Thank you."

zzzzz

"I think House and Cuddy are dating," Wilson said, flopping down onto Amber's sofa. She came out of the kitchen to frown at him, hands on her hips. To anyone else it was an angry stance, aggressive, but Wilson knew better. Knew Amber better.

"You think?" she asked.

"They're both bad at relationships, it's hard to tell." She snorted and sat down next to him, kissing him on the cheek. "And they're not sure themselves, they both accosted me about it today."

"So they think they're dating but they're not sure?" she said, clarifying.

"Yeah." She grinned, a wicked little flick of her lips that Wilson loved and was terrified of at the same time.

"I am so going to give him hell over this," she said.

"No, no," Wilson said, "leave them to it."

"James," she said with a grin.

"No!" he said, putting his hand up in a stopping gesture.

"I like it when you're forceful," she said, climbing into his lap.

"Well, I'm putting my foot down," he said, smiling, kissing her as she moved to straddle him, "let them at least figure out what's going on before you give House hell for being in love."

"Love? You said they were dating, not in love," she said, "that's different." She went to move from his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him.

"Just leave it Amber," he said, "please."

"I don't know," she said, "it's really good material."

He kissed her solidly, still holding her tight to his body, one hand moving to slip under her shirt and run over her breasts.

"We can watch porn."

"We were going to anyway," she said, "it's Thursday."

"I meant, the other porn." Her face lit up. Since she started dating Wilson, she was trying a new tack with the relationship, where she didn't just do what she wanted all time, didn't demand everything. So she had tried giving up a few things that he didn't like. Such as gay porn. Because it made him feel a little uncomfortable for reasons she hadn't figured out yet, and wouldn't until he was ready to tell her. Which was also new, normally she would've pushed and pushed until he cracked and told her everything she wanted to know. Instead she was playing the waiting game. The rewards were better.

And she got to watch her porn once in a while.

"I'll stay away from House," she said, jumping off his lap in search of her dvd.